By Eva Manandar, 2014 Fellow

(Photo Credit: Amrit Puri, 2015 Fellow)

Maybe love is a language that they do not understand. In English, they don’t know the ABCs of the language, they don’t know simple words like apple and ball, they don’t know tenses, or verbs or adjectives…….

They just don’t understand it, cause no one has ever spoken to them in that language, no one has cared enough to teach them that language. Maybe, it is the same with love.

It is the language of violence that they have grown up seeing and hearing and living it everyday of their lives, be it in schools and even in their homes. That is a language they understand, cause that is the only language they know.

As we trudged along this path, we soon realized that they don’t know even the basics of English, that did not deter us, instead it gave us the determination that we would forge ahead, that we would teach them English, even if we had to start from the basics, and I guess it is the same with the other subjects as well.

We thought of a brilliant idea, and saw it fall flat, right before our eyes. But, then the first thought that came to our mind wasn’t -- ok this is impossible, I am going to pack my bags and leave.

We thought how about I try something else, and we have said that to ourselves time and again, every time something hasn’t worked out, yes we’ve felt down and frustrated and completely lost, but then that little light of hope does crop up somewhere and we say to ourselves – how about I try something different, something more interesting or fun or………… we try time and again.

Maybe that’s what we need to do with love, teach them the language of love, from the basics, try it time and again, use every means possible, never ever ever give up, so that they learn to inculcate love into their lives, so that they understand the language of love and learn to speak the language of love.

Yes, we have seen it happen time and again, our children do not do our homework, but come ready with everything done, of that teacher who they know will beat them if it is not done.

There have been times when we have been told how foolish we are to believe that our ‘child friendly’ ways are actually going to bring about a change in these children and been scoffed at and we have doubted our ways.

Yes, there have been times we have been tempted to use that age old means, cause we have been told that it is the only way there is, and it works.

But then is that really true, maybe it is true until someone proves that it is false.

Maybe just as in English, Maths or Science where we can opt for the easy way out and use the age old means -- make them mug up everything and your job is done, but we don’t cause we know that there is this guilty conscience that will be nudging us; maybe, just maybe it is the same with beating a child, it is the easy way out, but then when you refuse to choose the easy way while teaching English, Maths or Science, why choose it while teaching the language of love.

It is difficult no one needs to tell us that, but maybe it is not impossible.

Maybe we could try to teach them the language of love, maybe all that we need to do is instill that seed of love, nurture it and let it grow, so that when it is time for them to make a choice, let their last resort not be violence, but be LOVE.

Eva Manandhar is a 2014 TFN Fellow who teaches English in Terse Higher Secondary School, Talamarang, Sindhupalchowk.