By 2014 Fellow Shirijung Hang Rai

When I first entered the class, not even a single student stood up to greet me ‘Good morning’. I knew that I should demonstrate the best in me so I kindly and happily greeted them. Then they greeted me back and some students stood up as well. No one put on a tie, wore dirty uniforms, their feet larger than slippers, Mohawks (Nepali version), bracelets, chewing gum, tattoos inked by ball pen over their forearms, few button-less shirts, beads, earpieces, but mostly noticeable-attitude! I had a goal of making each student work hard and pass their examinations and speak confidently in English.

After a quick reflection over their academic performance with other teachers, I wasn’t surprised to know that they were the most hated and undermined class. Every teacher felt that it was the most challenging class and when asked about what could be done, I could clearly sense ignorance in their answer.

As a new recruit in this school but having past experiences of teaching, I was confident on how to start off. But then the whole nation got hit by the earthquake. The school resumed after over one and half months. I couldn’t run my classes smoothly as there were awareness classes and relief efforts going on. We were disturbed a lot, especially during the first three months.

Life started getting normal slowly. Students were given counselling, reliefs and supports. But they were struggling and so was I, especially in Grade 9. I conducted different activities I knew to motivate them but the results were not very encouraging. I was tired and right after the results of first terminal I stopped. The result disheartened me. Half of the class failed, some even scored 5 or 9. The only thing that was in my brain was “I need a break”. But I wasn’t getting it. The results had to be transformed. I had time, I thought, and making the students pass became my only motive. But my motive was guided by fear of failure and also dullness. The monotonous routine didn’t allow me to become the energetic teacher in this class as I was in other classes. Even my LDM noticed it. I then became the teacher I hated the most-the traditional teacher. The teacher without any demonstration of creativity but just lecturing.

This went on for few weeks before I started additional activities in other classes. In other classes we did public speaking, drawing on Tuesdays, presentations on Thursdays, dance and music on any random days. The activities had helped me to create a student-friendly center and the students also listened to me. I enjoyed teaching there. But it wasn’t the same with Grade 9. I didn’t do anything new or creative there. I wasn’t ready when it came to this particular class and therefore I feared failure. I thought that my experiment would fail and for worse, this would consume a lot of time too, which would result in yet another poor performance in the next term. So I decided to continue just lecturing them. Making the students pass wasn’t as difficult as anticipated. The second terminal exam showed encouraging results and I felt accomplished.

Then a thought popped -maybe it was the academic result that I needed to work on first and then only start additional activities. I had bunch of activities in mind but I doubted if these would back fire and cost me the results at the final exams. My heart said that if the kids could pass because of me, I could also introduce other activities to boost their performance and confidence with English language. However, in my head, I felt that investing time in other activities would take me nowhere. After talking to my LDMs, I decided I that I would do what my heart told me to do. I planned for activities that incorporated both ‘fun’ and ‘learn’ element.

I made the routine first. It had list of things planned for each day of the week. Sundays were for music or movie, Mondays and Tuesdays for course book study, Wednesdays for listening and speaking, Thursdays for revision and Fridays were for examinations. As I pasted the routine right beside the whiteboard, kids were excited. To add merry to their excitement I told them we were watching a movie. They watched ‘Kabaddi’ and I also asked them to write a review in a letter format to the director of the movie. Within three days I had all the letters. They started trusting me so I was getting excited for the other activities. The following week, I entered with a guitar and a song ‘Imagine’. It took two days for them to learn the song and they did it beautifully. Two teams were formed and both had to sing and listen and on the basis of melody, pronunciation, timing and teamwork I scored them. Later, they participated in a movement called ‘Ma pani sikshak’. During the movement’s reflection on Thursdays, the students came and taught their friends through role play and lecturing.

I’m proud that I did what was needed. One year hence, my students wear proper uniform and by proper I mean clean uniforms, tucked in shirts, socks and shoes, and tie. But most importantly, they are self-motivated, prepared, more confident, work in teams and share. They also ‘pass’ in examinations.

The whole experience made me realize that it’s very easy to give up and find an excuse for ourselves. And it's equally easy to blame others. I find it very easy to become what I hate to be but it’s difficult to transform myself. But I don’t think it’s about transforming myself for growth and development alone, for me it’s about doing the right thing when I know it’s the right thing. The learnings and growth will only come to you when you accept the challenges. It then showers you with fulfilling satisfaction so I pledge to be courageous not by having no fear but by overcoming the fear.

2014 Fellow Shirijung Hang Rai taught in Shree Ganesh Secondary School, Lalitpur.