By Sajani Shrestha, 2015 Fellow

I was helping a student with her homework. "La ramrari chito chito gara hai" (Do it properly and try to finish it soon), I said. But she looked at me and exclaimed, "Ramrari pani re ani chito chito pani?? Kasari huncha ni miss!!" (How can good things be done in a short period of time!?) Well, it happened to be a short but a very thought-provoking line for me. Have patience, because goods things do take time.

Later, as I was recalling it again, I could relate it to my Fellowship journey. As a TFN Fellow, teaching in a government school hasn’t been easy. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy anyway. So when I have to summarize the past months, I can only say that it has been a very challenging work. It must have been easier to teach by now, considering the time I spent here, but the case seems to be different. The mountain of things-to-do and complexities seem to be growing day by day, appearing unconquerable; and each day I’m realizing that I have huge responsibilities. I’m realizing that I have signed up for a really huge cause. Every day is an adventure where you have no idea what's coming next. Each class is a new class and nothing is predictable. You get energetic and encouraged because your first class went well but you never know which class might drain your whole energy and push you into the dark corner. It's like riding on a roller-coaster that has no fixed path. The ups and downs are frequent. So, eventually, the self imposed questions seek answers. "What are you doing here? Does any of the things you do have any significance at all?" And then the process of a very deep thinking starts.

The ever-present self-battle starts, where one part of you, with red horns, criticizes your decision of being here. It convinces you that you would have been better off somewhere else, accompanied with some peace of mind. Although I know that I’m here for a good cause, I can’t help doubting if any of the things I do has an impact. But thankfully, there is also another part, with a halo, which tries to convince you that you have chosen the best path and this could be the best and the most memorable part of your life. It’s the part that continuously encourages you to do better in class despite the failure; and that reassures you that you are here for a great cause. Then I pick myself up, and go to the class with a new spirit.

TFN is working to end the education inequity of our country. It has a broad vision that states "One day, all children in Nepal will attain an excellent education." We, as Fellows, carry with us the same TFN values and vision. Many Fellows had worked in the past, many are working at present and many will have to work in future as well to make this movement successful and to achieve that "one day". And I’m also doing the same. I believe that the two years’ Fellowship is just a small part of the big movement. The hard work that Fellows are doing is taking us closer to our vision step by step. Like my student said, good things will take time. So I’m consoling myself that although my work seems ineffective today, it’s playing an important role for the movement. Hence, I’m guiding myself to have patience and not freak out.

Sajani Shrestha is 2015 Fellow who teaches at Gothbhanjyang Higher Secondary School, Lalitpur.